I don’t have the discipline to do this 10 days in a row so I am doing them all on one post.

1: Ten things your want to say to ten different people right now.
(note: some of these apply to more than one person, it just worked out that way).

I don’t know how it happened but our friendship just… disintegrated. It bums me out but maybe it is for the best.

It is really sad how arrogant you have become. I liked the old you a lot better.

You? There is no way you can call yourself a man.

You are stronger than you know and what you have been doing for yourself as of late makes me so so proud of you. Thank you for finding the courage within yourself to do what so many others wish they could.

I really hope one day you can step outside yourself. If anything just so you can see that it isn’t the world throwing you bad curve balls all the time, it’s the fact that you catch them.

I miss you a lot and I hate the fact you are on the other side of the country. In a perfect world we would be closer because I yearn for your company.

I just want you to be better to your self. You only get this once.

I do not miss writing you off. Not one bit. In fact, dropping you from my life gave me the clarity to see what a horrible friend and person you really were. Despite the fact, I truly hope you have grown up a little.

I cannot wait to be in the same room as you again.

We have known each other for years yet have never met in person. Despite the fact, knowing you is more meaningful than some of the people I have lived close to.

2: Nine things about yourself.
I was born in Mexico
I used to listen to death metal
I prefer to drive a stick shift
I was named after my grandfather’s ex-girlfriend
I find green olives to be utterly repulsive
I don’t like super spicy food
I have 5 canine teeth two of which are baby teeth
I tend to get along better with men
The inside of my wedding ring says “little fish” on it.

3: Eight ways to win your heart
have attention to detail
be observant and considerate
have great taste in music
understand the balance of a two way street
see things with gratitude and humility
make me laugh
value my time as much as I do yours
send me something handwritten in the mail. Such a sucker for handwritten mail.

4: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
fuck new jersey
I would kill for a burrito
I miss my friends and family
will she ever stop interrupting me?
god damn these people cannot drive
what did I do to get so lucky?
I really miss my short hair, I should just chop it off.

5: Six things you wish you’d never done.
ruin my credit in my 20′s
reacting before thinking
student loans
allowed certain people to enter my life in the first place
loaned money to that asshole Colucci
second guessed my gut instinct

6: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Excluding the obvious? Tania, Jason, Mike, Tom and Spencer. Although this isn’t fair cause I have a lot of those.

7: Four turn-offs.
poor hygiene, smokers, obscene amounts of body hair, speedos.

8: Three turn-ons.
straight razors, great tattoos in all the right places, the ability to hold a decent conversation

9: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
*reaching out* // *crossroads*

10: One confession.
I have spilled so many good beans over the years I wonder if I have any more. I am not the kind of person that has a lot of skeletons other than pretending I never slept with “x” moron. Oh! Ok, this is one I never shared because of the horrible stigma that goes with it but in the interest of posterity and hopefully someone will learn from my mistake…

One of my ex boyfriends lied to me about his clean bill of health and my young and naive self believed him without getting proof. I was young, dumb and infatuated and ultimately stupid. After having a sexual relationship with him, he confesses he has a raging case of the herp. And what do I do? Stayed with him. Yes, that is how crappy my self esteem used to be. We eventually broke up after a few months and I was lucky enough to walk away scott free after lots and lots of testing. I got LUCKY. I used to date some real shit heads and he was the King of the Isle Of Losers. And then people wonder why I appreciate what I have so much.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~4 snitches : confess

Now that summer is pretty much kicking in around these parts, it is also kicking up the amounts of offensive clothing. Good lords. Since last weekend I have seen so many maxi dress abusers it isn’t even funny. I like them but I can’t wear one without looking like a lumpy pregnant girl but lords what I saw in Atlantic City last weekend was downright abuse. Ladies, you gots to make sure you see the rear view when you walk out the door. I know it’s hot but I still try and keep my dignity somewhere in what little garments I am wearing. When you look like chorizo it isn’t a good thing. Trust me.

Speaking of summer… the bugs are starting to kick in overdrive over here, all except the ones I was really looking forward to. No cicadas this year. Apparently the broods travel and I am reading they won’t be here til 2013. I am going to miss that beautiful song. Also, who the hell needs a fly swatter when you have cats. Gomez is the fly catching master! We are however starting to see fireflies and they are the coolest!

Speaking of the cats their new nicknames are as follows:
Judas: Lady J, Little Girl
Gomez: Whiskerton, G, Whiskerville and Motherfucker

Two days ago Reza and I went to Philly for some retail therapy and getting out of the house whatnot. One thing you see a lot on the sidewalks of major cities are smokers outside of buildings cause obviously they cannot smoke indoors. We walked past a medical office and there she was, the woman with a lit cigarette in one hand, her no more than 18 month old toddler in the other. Yes, if you are one of these people I judge you. I don’t like to feel that way but it is so hard to have any kind of sympathy for people who expose their own children to second hand cancer. They are selfish people and should be ejected from Planet Parenthood.

Speaking of smokers, the establishment that Josh works for decided to be a non-smoking venue in its entirety and boy are the smokers PISSED. Lots and lots of barking about how unfair it is. I find great hilarity in the sense of entitlement that smokers think they should be catered to. That it is “an inconvenience to have to go outside”. Oh really now? Breathing your stank is an inconvenience to me. If you want to kill yourself have at it but leave me out of it.

It only took us 10 months but we finally found a tasty sushi joint near our house. Thank jeebus!

I went out on my bike today and clocked in 9.97 miles in 67 minutes. A lot of it was against wind. Oy, my thighs are on fire. I am enjoying the bike when I can squeeze in a ride. Although my bony ass needs more cushion on the seat. I literally have no ass and it doesn’t feel pleasant when hitting bumps.

Everyone has told me that those canada geese are mean but holy shit, I was on a bike trail today and there was a flock of them grazing. I thought, “I’ll ride past and they’ll move”… not only did they not move but these whores hissed at me! Scared the crap out of me.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~7 snitches : confess

I rarely if ever watch reality tv these days, too much fakeness out there but when it comes to these kinds of competitive shows I always look forward to So You Think You Can Dance.

Season 9 just started and what an opener of a show. Lots and lots of emotion and yes, I cried many times. There have been a lot of memorable auditions in the many seasons I have watched but this? This right here hit me in the gut. The best part is how they all seemed to second guess him and he absolutely rips them apart. I have watched it multiple times in complete awe that a person can move and say so much without speaking a word. You need to see this. ( I would embed it but seem to have some conflict with wordpress)

Absolutely brilliant and I can’t stand Evanessence. Those glides are seamless.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~4 snitches : confess

It has been a somewhat quiet memorial day weekend for us. Josh has pretty much been on call or on property just to make sure everything was going smoothly at work. Grand opening, 4 highly publicized performances and a visit from the first lady herself you can imagine the nerves were a little frazzled. Everything needed to be as perfect as possible.

I’m really proud of Josh and what he has been doing at his job. You can tell he’s very proud to be a part of the project as a whole and despite the fact the location isn’t the most desirable, it certainly softens the edges. Far cry from his last job where he was never valued for his worth. To go from that to being asked to work with the Secret Service to set up communications for Michelle Obama’s visit? Pretty awesome. Growth all around.

Things have quieted down since I have chosen to take a serious step back from Facebook. I guess I need to make something clear since several people have asked me… Nothing in particular happened. No one said anything to me, there was no particular incident where I got called out. If anything it was a culminating group of things: behaviors of others, nasty, angry, self serving, arrogant behavior in others that makes me wonder that if I view people in that manner, how do they view me? Ultimately it came down to things I am seeing in myself. How I choose to accept and react to all the dribble being posted and the unhealthy addiction with checking it constantly. Those are problems. When my daughter is asking me for something and I’m asking her to wait cause I am “too busy” typing comments? Wtf is that? I don’t think it’s cool.

Not to be mistaken with going off completely, I am weaning little by little to see how I handle things. I created a very small filter just so I can keep up with my closest and now that the “feed” has dwindled from 450ish people to a small two figure number, it has become much more manageable. I’m not scrolling forever, I’m not being emotionally affected as much as I was and because the content has dwindled down and I am not checking as often as I was. I won’t lie, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. You have no idea how bad it was getting. Or maybe you do? Heh. I am still posting links to these some of these posts over there though.

One thing that has come from all this scaling back on fb malarkey is I am purposely being more conscientious about emailing people. I sent out a couple letters on Friday, and instead of posting fb wall posts to people, I have called or texted. The response may not be as instantaneous and even more infrequent but when they come, they mean that much more.

I’m having one of those “I hate it here” days. Maybe because it’s a holiday weekend and I was used to having a slew of plans and invites and today I’ve done nothing but fold laundry and hang out at home. I saw photos of La Jolla that a friend posted and it honestly got me meepy. The Atlantic isn’t the Pacific. You get used to seeing the ocean a certain way and nothing else compares to it.

I was telling Josh earlier today that every day that goes by here is one less day we are no longer here anymore. I don’t want to get complacent or comfortable by any means and thankfully he is on exactly the same boat as I am. We just know that even though this needed to happen in order for our survival and growth, and we are making the best of it mind you, we also recognize that this place isn’t entirely for us. Never was and won’t ever be.

One thing that has been kind of grating at me is Reza. She is going through a phase where she is blatantly rude and disrespectful to me. It’s not grating, it’s hurtful. You work so hard to cultivate this spirited, driven and opinionated little person and then it backfires on you. The other day Josh and I were talking that the day will come where she will yell “I HATE YOU” at one of us. We all did it and all of us as parents will hear it one day or another. We know she won’t mean it but it doesn’t mean that it won’t run our hearts through a meat grinder. It’s pretty obvious I am going to be the one that gets it first. I am “the mean one” after all. Even now as she just sassed me, I had to come upstairs to finish my post, fighting back the tears. I’ve just been feeling a little spread thin, the fragility is crippling and I can only get teary over everything so much.

The other day I went to a “what you can do to prepare your child for Kindergarten” orientation type thing. Reza is going to be 6 in October and she is barely hitting kindergarten. She’s reading stuff all the time now, song titles off my iPod, street signs, she adds… and then I hear this broad say things like “math isn’t something they really do in K”. They’re telling me what she is going to be learning and in my head I am checking off “already does that, knows that, needs a little work, fuck she already has been doing that for the past YEAR”. I know it sounds arrogant as fuck but she really is an observant and smart kid. I am not saying this to pull my own chain. You should see her handwriting. Some of it is far too clean for her age. I wonder where she got that one from. Hopefully they will see that and tap into it.

I am grateful that the months to come are bringing visitors from home. I need a recharge, I need to be reminded of who I am and I am so very grateful this is coming soon cause our going anywhere to visit just isn’t feasible at the moment. Recharge and refresh. That sounds like a plan.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~6 snitches : confess

1. The best surprise ever would be, my closest friends all showing up on my doorstep. I would weep for days.

2. The day Josh and I got married is my most favorite memory. Although, picking one is just not cool cause I have had a lot of really awesome moments in my life. Our engagement and the day Reza popped out would shortly follow.

3. The hardest, but most worthwhile thing I’ve ever done was go through pregnancy. Talk about a physical upheaval. Giving up your body for the sake of another person is one of the most selfless things I have ever done.

4. The best part of my day is getting in bed after a nice shower, kid asleep.

5. Something I like that most people don’t is/are hair metal bands and funny meats like tripe and tongue.

6. Something I am willing to fight for is Reza’s happiness and my marriage. Dude, you fuck with either one of them and you will regret the day you did.

7. Something you might not know about me is I studied piano as a kid and gave it up, played on the soccer team at school after my femur fracture (talk about resiliency), have only lived in 3 cities my entire life, have an innie and own a lot more socks than underwear.

******
in case you want to play along

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~9 snitches : confess

When you come to a realization that something takes up too much of your time and doesn’t contribute much to your current frame of mind, you got to accept that it is time to take a step back. You know who of which I speak… the site that sucks all of our time and in turn is taking a little of our souls with it.

While it is an easier method to stay in touch it also makes things far too accessible. I will be the first to admit that because I live somewhere where I have little to no friends and I know so many awesome people all over the world, I like the convenience of the one stop shop but how rewarding is it really? My social life is on a screen and that is really fucking sad.

I don’t like what it is doing to me and what it has done to other people. Through this medium I have really come to learn and dislike aspects of people that I thought were… better? I have seen some really ugly actions and words… too much anger and vitriol. Not just in others, but in myself as well. Despite the fact that I try to let things brush off my back, I can’t. It’s like seeing someone get hit by a car, you carry that with you for the longest time. ( For the record, I have seen someone get hit by a car, it isn’t pretty)

I have never been one to care what others think about me but the idea that people would view the way I express myself as despicable hits a little too close to home. Every day I strive to be better, to make the next day better than the next… some days I fail, some not so much.

All I DO know is that I have a lot going on over here… things I could be doing, art I could be making/selling, writing I could be doing, photos I could be taking, time I could be spending with Reza and a house that could use a little more nurturing… both houses.

In turn I am going to scale back and focus on the aforementioned. I have a phone that rarely rings, email that collects spam and there is little to no connecting with people anymore. I cannot let a “social” website dictate the quality of interaction I have with my “friends”. So if you care to follow or know more of my goings on, my musings, my daily meanderings… I am going to be making an effort to put them here, my space… in an effort to wean myself off that social media drug that many people just roll with cause it is a necessary evil. Translation: I am lowering my fb intake and focusing on more important & fulfilling things/people.

As always, if you want to reach me you can always comment here, email me @ beansandink at gmail dot com or for those of you who have my number and home address, write and call me. Use them, please. I plan on doing the same with yours if I am lucky enough to have them.

I want to know there is more there than a thumbs up on a screen.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~7 snitches : confess

Lately I have been going through this wave of irrationality. Hey man, you try living in New Jersey and tell me your mind won’t wander to odd places. Lack of conversation with other adults will do that to you.

For one there are the irrational fears. I have them. Prime examples…

that the garbage disposal is going to magically turn on while I have my hand in it and turn my fingers into hamburger
planes crashing on top of the neighborhood
getting in a car accident and everyone dies except me
black widow spider infestations
being forced to eat ambrosia salad

Now, I am not discounting the fact that these things could happen, they very well can but the odds are pretty great. You have any thoughts like this? Please tell me I am not alone and going cuckoo.

Then there are the conversations I think of… someone you know is really grating at your balls and instead of calling them on their crap you have the conversation in your head cause you know that talking to them is as useless as giving a fish a bicycle for christmas. I am not sure what stops me from dropping the final axe on acquaintances that contribute nothing positive.

Today I overcame a fear, I would say it is irrational but it isn’t unfounded. I put my big girl pants on and got out on my bike. I have been dreading riding it on the street. I know… then why own one!? Right? My fear: that I am going to get mowed down by some jackass. Wouldn’t be the first time… I still think of the trauma I got put through with a leg fracture cause some asshat wasn’t paying attention. Well today I got the hair up my ass and rode the damn thing for 8 flippin’ miles. Most of it was on trails but there were portions where I was sharing the road with cars.

But this was my view today. I did the Cooper River loop and despite the muggy factor, the weather was really pretty. Scenic even despite having to dodge the massive turds that the Canada geese leave everywhere. See that faint skyline in the back? That’s Philadelphia.

By the way, I promise I won’t turn into one of those people that do nothing but talk about how much they worked out for the day and shit. No one really cares about your exercise and dietary habits that much.

And on a sad note… talking about irrationality and unfairness. One of my best friends lost his mom suddenly. Not sure how life and fate choose to hand out those cards but the process of it is upsetting. You get to thinking about your own mortality and how it could always be you, close to you or happen to someone you love. I think about optimum life, what I can do to make mine more fulfilling. Lots of food for thought. Dealing with these feelings while having massive PMS isn’t the best. One thing I do know… it makes me hold on to what I have even tighter.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~5 snitches : confess

One of the things I have been looking forward to since moving to the East Coast was hitting up a good craft bazaar. San Diego had a couple but a lot of it was a bunch of junk and cheap whatnot. Los Angeles had their share but the trek up there just wasn’t my cup of tea. 4 hours in the car? Traffic? A-holes? Yeah, no thanks.

So when I stumbled upon this flyer with art by Julie West I got super excited…

I love Julie West and the fact she would lend her art to this only says a lot about the quality of vendors that would be there. woo!

Rather than post a crap ton of pix of stuff… I just took photos of my favorite vendors. People at these things can also be weird about your shooting their stuff but I asked permission for these.

The left is Bubbledog. He had some really great artwork, nice guy and that rocket pop was a total childhood memory. It took everything in me to not come home with that apple plushie but Reza needs more plushies like I need a bullet to the head. I ended up getting a small cuckoo clock print from him (below). You can see more of his adorable art at www.bubbledog.com

The right is a local Philly Artist I stumbled upon several months ago, Corina Dross. I have bought some of her stuff already so it was nice to see more stuff as well as meet her. Super cool chick and her Portable Fortitude deck of cards series is BAD ASS. Definitely check her out over at www.corinadross.com

And last but not least… I have been following Heidi Kenney’s blog for quite some time now. I love her happy food and cheerful tone in her art. Her blog is full of awesome imagery. She happened to be there so I got to say my hellos and tried my best not to be some creepy stalker chick. I couldn’t resist buying one of her doughnuts. Look at them!

You can see more of her stuff over on her blog, www.mypapercrane.com or on www.kidrobot.com.

It was a gorgeous day in Philly. No, really! Look… the fair is over on the right side, right on the waterfront.

I was thankful Josh was on full on husband and dad duty to let me have a day to run around and do my thing. I came home, watched some trashy shows and relaxed while they took off to a baseball game. It was one of those things, I missed hanging out with them but I *needed* the time to myself and thankfully Josh is more than willing to give it to me.

Here is the booty I picked up… I exercised some serious restraint let me tell you. There were a lot of art and stationery type vendors and I resisted coming home with more paper goods. One only has so many walls to put this stuff after all.

More photos from my outing can be found over on my flickr page.

Oh and I found this cool blue house while walking around!

I have been corrected… It’s a tardis. Sorry guys! I don’t watch Dr Who

Overall a successful, warm and inspiring day.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~8 snitches : confess

About a week ago Josh and I were hanging out in the attic. Reza was sleeping, he was making music and I was laying on the bed sketching. Not sure how it happened but I drew a bear silhouette (seen below) and next thing you know I am spending days drawing more. Hence the critter shadows…

These are all the ones I have done thus far. They are intended for being paper cuts and are in fact that but for posting purposes here is a vector file so you can see them all.

(bear is missing from the photo but seen below)

I still need to give them names… I know the snake is a Julius and the bunny is being named Valmont. If you have name suggestions or you think of a critter that would work well in this format I am all ears.

Also, here is a crappy picture of what the actual paper cuts look like after assembly and mounting.

All of them will be available for sale (once I finish cutting out the rest and decide the best price point) and if for some reason you like one that gets swooped up on I can cut out more.

I will be giving one of them away on my beans+ink facebook page. Like it! I giveth away!

I am so happy with these. It has been so overdue and my creative river was dry for so long… and when something like this just hits me I can’t help but be excited about it. So excuse me if you have seen one too many reposts.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~11 snitches : confess

Last week I was out and about doing my thing and I could feel this poking underneath one of my breasts. I get home and inspect only to realize that the wire in my bra had cracked in half. I pictured something like this…

Little guy finally gave up and caved under the mammary pressure.

So I sigh in defeat and throw out one of the two functional bras I own. Sad times. Now, I know you’re asking yourself, “TWO?”. Yes, two. I know it sounds absolutely asinine to own so little.

In my venting the sadness of said wire explosion on Facebook, I came to a realization: I hate bra shopping with an unholy passion and I am not alone.

A) I have big boobs – duh
B) I have a wide back

Because of these two things and a serving of side-boob, bra shopping is defeating and awful.

So in an attempt to replace the broken boulder holder, I do what I need to do and set forth to bra shopping hell: Victorias Secret

I walk in and I am greeted by this atrocity….

Not sure when the 80′s came back but it was a goddamn puddle of neon vomit. Who wears this shit? For one, lace looks terrible under t-shirts and a color that bright would strike through anything so unless you’re a go-go dancer, stripper or hooker, this serves me no purpose whatsoever. I like a good “fuck me” undergarment just as much as the next girl but pink that bright would not only blind him but kill his erection instantaneously. Josh is very particular about the visual stimuli.

Then another problem… Everything has padding, some so obscenely padded that it takes up half the cup. Why would I, size D, want my tits to look bigger than they already are? I don’t need help and I also don’t believe in false advertising. Can’t a girl just find a simple, black little number that lifts and separates? Is that too much to ask?

So there I am, among a sea of neon, padded, ill fitting bras… Surrounded by posters of Miranda Kerr or whoever their güera flaca of the moment is, both of which could probably fit their entire body in one of my pant legs. You see where this is going? Defeat.

The sales girl encourages me to shop online. LMAO. Why do companies do this? The larger sizes are available “online only”. Dude! Us girls with the thickness are the one that need to try shit on the most! And so I’m relegated to buy and try on a bunch in hopes that one fits? Right. Who has that kind of money and time? Even when they do have my sizes I usually grab 10 to try on and if I’m lucky, one will feel good. One! And then I grab another 2 in the same style cause I just won’t torture myself into hoping I’ll find another “cute” style.

There are plenty of lingerie manufacturers that make sizes to accommodate the brick houses of the world but one look and you would rather wear a sports bra. Lacey grandma bras that make your tits look like pointy missile gazongas. So damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

I’m sure someone out there is shaking her head saying “oh boo hoo, look at this chick crying over big boobs” and you know what I have to say to you? F U. Big tits are overrated as fuck. Yes, you can use them to get out of speeding tickets, getting the bartender’s attention and they lend themselves for motorboating and hot dogging. On the flip side of that coin they also hurt, my back hurts and they will inevitably serve as pencil holders as they make their way south. How chicks run out and voluntarily get gigantic, globulous implants is beyond my comprehension.

Thankfully I happened to discover that lohemans does exist in the armpit of America and I found a saucy, comfy and black little number by Natori. And for half off! Thank you Natori for delivering where everywhere else failed. And yes, I only found ONE. Go figure.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~25 snitches : confess

Another post in which I throw out a bunch of randomness that doesn’t merit a post of its own so I pile it all up in here…

I was at the craft store today buying some spray mount. I ask an employee if they have something to which she says, “I don’t know, if it’s not in that section over there then we don’t have it”. Isn’t it your job to know? You could look with me, no? The apathy people have for their jobs is astonishing, at the very least ACT like you give a fuck.

Oh and since I am talking about craft stores, which I also like to call Erection Killers, can someone please explain to me the bizarre crafting cult called “scrapbooking”? I mean, I get it… but it’s like sticker books for adults, yes?

Here are a handful of recent phone pix that I have liked. All reposts from my instagram cause I am a repeat offender like that.

top row: a bookcase at Revel, a quote I saw while out shopping, me and my addiction to pretty paper. Skull print paper is the shit!
bottom row: gomez + judas being snuggle rats, coming over the Benjamin Franklin bridge into Philadelphia at sunset (I was a passenger thank you), and some art I have in the works…

It has been a sea of pollen in the air over here. I normally don’t suffer allergy issues but magenta eyeshadow on a day that is so pollenated was not the best combo. Watery, itchy eyeballs. Also, why do craft stores smell like cheap cinnamon and fake rose? Between that and the pollen explosion, I am Squints McGee. Need to know what that means, look up photos of Renee Zellweger.

I had to endure the voluntary horror of both a pelvic and transvaginal ultrasound earlier today. Don’t know what it is? Look it up. I have on/off ovarian cysts if you need to know.. yes! And my new lady dr. decided it was time for a recheck. A nice round of TMI cause you know I live to make people squirm. Picture this if you will, 32 oz of water in my damn bladder and this broad is pushing down on it while happily smacking her gum. FUN. Then comes the probe. Mid probing she asks me, “are you ok?” and what I really wanted to say was “what do you fucking think lady? I am getting served a cervical beating that isn’t even getting me off or buying me dinner after. What do you think?!” Dude, I like me some toys and man meat, and that is fine up in my business but some chick shoving and wiggling around a plastic, cold wand up in my taco is just not the way I wanted to spend my morning. Subsequently, my ultrasound tech referred to my butt as as my “high-nee” (or however you spell that shit). Grown women/men that refer to body parts in cutesy names like hoo hoo, tushie and wee wee bug the living crap out of me. It reminds me of the psycho mommies on mommy boards that refer to their husbands as “Dear” while they’re writing to complain about how he never changes the poop diapers. There is nothing “dear” about a person if you are talking shit about them.

I’m not all vinegar infested today, I swear! I also had my 6 week follow up with the ankle doctor today and he basically has cleared me from physical therapy and follow up visits unless the thing flares up or I am in pain again. WORD! Now, I know I am not 100% and probably won’t ever be, so as long as I proceed with caution and know my limits, I will be avoiding surgery. HOLLAH.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~9 snitches : confess

Yesterday we went to a birthday party and the birthday girl got a Justin Bieber board game (wtf?!!) and got super excited over it. Up until that point Reza had been nicely sheltered from his stupid ass…

Well this morning after taking Josh to the train station, Reza and I are headed home and this happened…

“Mom, I’m kinda thinking about Justin Bieber”

O_o!!! <---- me in the front seat of the car

"Justin Bieber is not the kind of thing that little girls like you should be thinking about baby" (in my mind I was really saying, "oh hell fucking no!!")

Realizing that she has crossed into a territory that is not making me happy I sense the back pedal is coming and sure enough...

"Mom, I didnt say 'Bieber' I said beaver”

“Oh! Justin Beaver”

“Yeah Mom, Justin Beaver. A beaver named Justin”

Now, I normally don’t condone fibbing but in this case she is forgiven.

What. The. Hell.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~3 snitches : confess

May has always been a good month for us. It always starts with the 1st and despite the fact we are cutting a fat rent check, we never let it shadow the fact that Josh and I celebrate another year together. We got married in the same month that we met, just a different year. This week we celebrated 11 years together, 8 of which are married.

We have been doing a lot of reminiscing about the time when we hooked up, piecing it all together and did a great deal of laughing. See, there was a lot of mud slinging when we first got together: he’s trouble, this isn’t gonna last, who is using who… and here we are, 11 years later. Laughing and proving them wrong.

It doesn’t feel like that much time has gone by. I guess that is how things are when you’re happy with the choices you’ve made. Josh and I are more solid than ever and I only hope that the years continue to bless us with the love and happiness we have had together all of this time.

We had a brilliant dinner at Amada that entailed a chef’s tasting menu. I had been wanting to go there for quite some time but it is so hard to get in on a weekend and now I know why. Tasty food was tasty. The tapas plates just kept coming! Too much food honestly but I don’t eat like that pretty often and this was certainly a special occasion.

We don’t believe in the exchange of traditional anniversary gifts. Instead I got him a Japanese Higo knife and he went far above and beyond at got me a spa day at Revel. I told him not to do something like that but he never listens to me. That knife is so sexy…

(knife from Best Made Co. / photo of Bask Spa @ Revel)

I finally had the opportunity do go down to Revel now that most of it is completed and open. Dude. What a beautiful hotel and I am not saying that just cause my husband works there. Top notch, high quality, everything is modern, clean, spacious and the fact they do not allow smoking inside is the best part. Josh is super proud to be a part of something like this and it shows. Makes his former employer look like a mom & pop thrift store.

Other goings on…

Judas got spayed this week and she didn’t come out of it as chipper as Gomez did. I took her to the vet today to make sure she was ok. Probably a reaction to the anesthesia. Why are vets such rapists? One exam, a couple shots and some meds. $190. Fuuuh….

Like I mentioned I have been painting a lot. I have been trying to paint on a daily basis, mostly small scale watercolors. Here are some of them…

Been really enjoying the process. If you want to see more I post usually post them on my instagram (user: beansandink). Thinking about listing the originals in my etsy shop, just doubting if there is that kind of interest or not.

And dammit, the news just broke that MCA of the Beastie Boys lost his battle with cancer. Dude was not only a pioneer to music but a husband and father. God dammit. Another person gone far before their time to this fucking disease. That shit scares the living hell out of me. There is no sparing based on health, age, gender… you never know when it’s your time and the thought that could always hit anyone I know upsets me more than I can even put here. Sad times.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~6 snitches : confess

1. My bedtime routine includes, getting Reza ready for bed (when it’s my turn), shower & hygiene ritual, moisturizer across the board (face, lips, body), lay in bed with Josh (which entails him reading, me on my phone or us fucking), catch up on my iCrack till I fall asleep.

2. I am: doing my best to get back on track, painting like a crazy woman, having a love/hate relationship with this podunk fucking state, missing my friends.

3. I can’t stand the smell of cigarette/cigars because of obvious reasons. Take your cancer cloud elsewhere.

4. My idea of relaxation would be a spa day which I will soon be getting cause Josh got me one for our anniversary. DUDE!

5. If I had an extra $50, I would take it to Paper Source and go to to town on pretty papers for crafting up cards and stuff.

6. The best thing about a bloggy friend is you get to see sides of them that you may not usually see in person. That is if they blog from the heart…

7. A recipe I’ve been dying to try is this. Cheezy quinoa cakes with lemon aioli.

*****
in case you want to play along

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~2 snitches : confess

Our ISP decided to take a massive digger so I did this drawing manually and am doing this post from my phone. Names on paper in a bucket! Keeping it old school after all.

As previously mentioned, winner #1 gets to choose which one she wants and the rest I match up at my discretion.

If you won please email me at beansandink at gmail.com, your winner # in the subject and send me your snail mail address.

Winners below! Thanks for playing kids, this was fun. There will be another one of these in the upcoming weeks so keep an eye out. The next one probably won’t be announced on my facebook page.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~1 snitches : confess

Man! You people really like free shit don’t you?! Pushing up to 50 comments already. Hey, don’t get me wrong here, totally flattered that you would want one of my little doodles. I guess it is one of those things with me. I never see my stuff like everyone else does. People say my art is cute/good and all I see are uneventful doodles. Sad isn’t it? Decades of self confidence do that to you but on the other hand, I am ok with it cause it keeps me humble. There is nothing more off putting than someone who thinks their shit don’t stink and that just isn’t how I roll. Humility goes a longer way than arrogance.

I got some ideas in the pipe but nothing I am ready to put here. But I am feeling the surge and I have to entertain it. Who knows when this river is going to dry up ya know?

So what else is going on in this part of the world?

Josh’s schedule is normalizing and we are all very thankful for it. Having him around is key for our balance. The other day he had the best and much needed day: haircut, lunch at his favorite beer bar in Philly, went record shopping, the Blues made the playoffs and he got laid… all in the same day! Well deserved too.

Reza has been sassy as all shit but growing up into a really awesome person. She’s too smart for her own good and witty as all fuck. Case in point…

This was all her doing too. I just helped her with sounding out the words so she could spell them. I love the fact she feels like she can.

Nena is Nena. Old, senile, pees everywhere that she shouldn’t be peeing. It is driving me insane.

Judas + Gomez are… well, cats. Sleep, eat, take stinking shits, snuggle with each other. They’re awesome even if they are up at crazy hours of the night making a ruckus.

I have been dealing with some crippling sciatic pain the past couple of days. I am trying to not let it get to me but I have come to the conclusion that my body will always be a Judas to my spirit and I have to figure out who is gonna win that battle. I have no idea how people get addicted to pain killers. I caved for 1/2 a pill yesterday and that shit made me feel terrible. I still feel gross, like I am on a narcotic hangover of epic proportions.

I have been painting a lot of little watercolor whatnot and if you follow me on facebook or instagram you would probably see more of that. Fear not, you don’t have to have an instagram account to spy in. Here, I will make it easy for you.

I don’t get people who are a jack of all creative trades. When one sleeps the other is awake. I can’t do it all at the same time. Case in point, I haven’t touched my camera much as of late. I have tried but it just doesn’t feel as natural to me at the moment. It will come back, not worried about that part. I do have a metric fuckton of photos on my phone though. I need to do a phone dump post here very soon.

Oh! And a friend of mine encouraged me to enter a contest on Spoonflower which somehow pushed me into the idea of textile design. What the hell right? It’s foreign but right up my alley. So I made a print of watercolored moths. Wanna see it? here she is!. Order it, make stuff with it and send me photos! Will there be more? Absolutely. Darker stuff, skulls, Halloween, Day of The Dead prints? Who knows. If you got any requests I am all ears.

Our plans shifted a little cause Uncle Sam fucked us in the butt with no lube. Word to the wise, don’t touch your 401k unless you absolutely have to. We did cause we had to and boy did we get an anal reaming from the government. And they didn’t even make us breakfast. Those pricks.

I miss San Diego people a lot these days. It’s hard to connect with people here. There are gems amongst all these UGG and legging wearing turds but you gotta look and hard. I will get there but I cannot say I don’t miss my people. I truly do. And some people I don’t miss at all. I miss a carne asada burrito more than you. Mmmmm…. meat. Hopefully we can make a jaunt back in the Fall.

Thankfully the Summer will be an array of visitors… Brett & Gayle, Griselda, my parents and the Japanese extension which will be here for three weeks. I cannot wait to see some familiar faces around these parts.

And on to the blank filling….

1. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is, pee. Or let out the dog who woke me up cause she needs to pee. Whole lot of peeing.

2. I can hardly wait for the cicadas to start their buzzing, for my sister Bee to get here from Japan… two years without seeing my sister just isn’t cool, the farmers markets starting back up, the moment we pay off the IRS (assholes), Josh to come home tonight, for my buttock to stop throbbing – stupid sciatica. I need an ass massage. ASS RUBBING.

3. The quickest way to my heart is paying attention to the little things, leaving me alone and knowing when is a good time and when it really isn’t. Oh, and chocolate always works too. Props to those of you who have figured that one out.

4. A little known fact about me is that I love music, I used to work a real bonafide serial killer, I have no shame in admitting my prior indiscretions, I like tacos, I hate sticking my hand in the garbage disposal with an unholy passion, I try to live happily, love fiercely, and cross me and you will regret the day you did.

5. The best part about my job is that I get the time to do some of the things I enjoy all while spending time with the nugget. Being an at home mom has its challenges but then I think about strangers showing my littles everything and I don’t regret it one bit.

6. Something I just couldn’t live without is facial moisturizer. gotta keep that skin lookin’ good y’all.

7. Something useful that I wish I knew how to do is sew, make Indian food and have multiple orgasms. Wouldn’t that be the shit? Hey, just being honest…

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~1 snitches : confess

In celebration that I seem to have woken my sleeping giant, I decided to do a small art giveaway. These are small (2.5 x 3.5) mind you, but one could be yours.

What’s the catch? Just post a comment to this post on beansandink.com (not on lj or fb) saying you want ins. I will have a randomizer pick 8 people. Whoever gets #1 and #2 can choose the one they want, the rest I will pair up.

Comments will close up on Sunday night. Winners announced on Monday.

Good luck!
**Entries closed**

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~3 snitches : confess

It has been a bit since I did one of these. I forget about it… sometimes I forget about posting instead of posting one liners on facebook. I really need to be better about that.

1. Today is a great day because Josh took the day off and gets a three day weekend. In fact he is sleeping in as we speak. After all the working he has been doing, he deserves it.

2. Tomorrow I will be taking the girl to a birthday party and hanging out with the family.

3. My favorite time of day is the evening because we are all home together.

4. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses with people, even if it hurts.

5. A song that I just can’t get enough of lately is “We are young” by Fun.

6. My favorite accessory is my wedding ring, I feel naked without it.

7. My favorite thing about this week was going to Philly with Reza.

and some of the previous questions I missed…

8. My greatest strength is my honesty.

9. My greatest weakness is procrastination. I start a lot of things I don’t finish.

10. People always compliment me on on my handwriting. I won’t lie, it is pretty nice.

11. If you found me procrastinating you’d probably find me playing with my phone or wasting time on Pinterest.

12. The most cozy place in all the world is under my fuzzy blankets

13. Something new that I tried recently was making smoothies with sweet potato. SO GOOD.

*****
in case you want to play along

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~3 snitches : confess

I understand the concept of people growing apart…. we get married, we move, we have kids, life is busy! It hasn’t stopped me from reaching out to people though. It may not be frequent but I try.

When Revel called and told Josh he got the job, there was no hesitation to make the decision. We had to. The only thing that held us back was “our people”. But responsibility calls and the best of relationships are not broken by distances, at least I would like to think so. Right???

So we packed up our house, said our goodbyes and off we came to the land of bread and meat, oh and corn… and blueberries. Lots of those here too. Derailed there… Some people didn’t even bother to say goodbye, some cried massive tears of the sad with us and some have really shown they really are more than just friends, they are our family.

I am not going to get into it cause it kinda makes the drawers of my heart get stuck. But I will say this: It’s a pretty cruel reality when you come to terms with the fact that to some people it really is “out of sight, out of mind”. That’s ok I guess… well, it isn’t if I am thinking about it enough to share here. Sometimes we just need to cut our losses… the question is, whose loss is greater?

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~13 snitches : confess

It goes without saying the Josh’s presence has been minimal at best. With Revel having the soft opening this coming week, he has been working obscene hours, 12 hour shifts, no days off… This week it got to the point where it made no sense for him to even come home so he spent most of the week in Atlantic City. Saves commuting time and all but damn was he missed.

On days when I have the car, Reza goes to school but since he left the car here, I had a non-school day with her and took full advantage of it. Pennsylvania has tons of theme parks and museums for us to explore and I have had the Please Touch Museum on my radar for quite a bit. They are rated one of the best kids museums in the country. It just so happens that they were having an appearance by Word Girl from a PBS show that Reza loves so it made sense to head down.

There really are no words at how awesome this museum is. For one, the building it is in is beautiful and enormous. It’s something I love out here, the architecture.

The exhibits are all interactive, just like their name, everything is touchable with exception of the display cases which are sealed. Sure it’s a petri dish but nothing some soap and water can’t handle.

Amongst the exhibits they have cases with vintage toys of yesteryear for display. My nostalgia factor was high with this one cause they had so many things I owned as a child, some of which I had forgotten until I saw them once more. The memories flooded back.

My favorite of the exhibits was the Alice In Wonderland section that had lots of vintage Alice, tea party and Humpty Dumpty memorabilia, a tea party, a maze and you could paint the roses red.

Other exhibits included: foam rocket launching, an arts and crafts room, play hospital, grocery store, construction zone, shoe store, a water play zone and dude! indoor carousel. It was sensory overload and the girl was absolutely besides herself.

Admission was $15 per person which was a little high but the money is well spent cause the kids really do get their money’s worth and the food at the cafe is affordable and kid friendly. If you are ever in the Philly area with your nuggets I highly recommend it. The pictures really don’t do it justice.

*****
the rest of the photos can be viewed over at flickr

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~2 snitches : confess

There are days where every day is like the next. I get up, have my tea, go through the routine and my thoughts don’t sway from the present. But then there are times where every day is a reminder… doing laundry and finding your oven mitt in the load, or lighting the candle that was once yours, or seeing your photo on a fb thread, a text from Mike with a photo of the sugar skull I made for you and gave to Erika – who has it so proudly and lovingly displayed.

All these things aligned themselves today and I guess you can say I have been a little emotional. Introspective. It’s like you are speaking to me from beyond, “Que pasa!!”, with your fake Sabado Gigante accent. *smile*

So yeah dude, I was thinking of you today and honestly I still cannot fathom or grasp the idea you are no longer in the same place as all of us. I don’t know if I will ever really hold that idea in my head. I don’t want to… I prefer to think you are always around, plotting your next big plan, strategizing the great next adventure. I seek comfort in that but goddamn, sometimes I just wish I could turn back the clock just for one moment of laughter with you. I would scratch your back till you begged for mercy.

I miss you so, so very much.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~1 snitches : confess

I had a feeling this was going to happen. The minute the cold and Winter got kicked to the curb, all of a sudden the world is a different place, in more ways than one. Not sure if we brought the weather with us but this was one of the most mild winters in recent years. Everyone kept telling me… don’t discount it, March it can always hit us. Seriously folks, my gut says NO. It’s San Diego weather outside but dare I say it? Yes, I think I will. It is prettier.

So to make this as brief as possible while still working on filling you in on the goings on of Carley Triangle™ I shall split it up in points…

New Jersey
Ok, so the place has grown on me. It’s not so foreign, there is familiarity and the surroundings are much more agreeable. I can get to a lot of places without the aid of GPS. The people still drive like shit, stare like we got off spaceships and I haven’t made much in the way of friendships. But it’s ok. Am I in love with the place? Absolutely not but I am taking this lemon and making it my lemonade bitch. *slurp*

The seasons are kicking my ass. In a good kind of ass kicking way! The minute the cold faded a tap it’s like the world flipped a switch and all the plants and trees said “Wake up bitches! it’s time!” and BAM. Color sprouting everywhere. You got to keep in mind, I have lived near or by the ocean my entire life. All we got were crappy, overrated palm trees. But this? I have never seen this happen. All of sudden we are surrounded by blooming trees of all kinds! It is so uplifting. In fact, I went for a walk around the block so you can see what I get to see every day… and this honestly does it no justice….

There will be more where this came from, rest assured.

The Ankle
Part of the reason I got into a quiet retreat was over this. I have been dealing with this shit for about 5 months now. It got to a point where it felt like it was getting worse and then I heard the words “MRI” and “possible surgery” and I fucking panicked. I laid around on the verge of tears, verge of depression and panicking. I cannot afford surgery right now… it would put me out for a quite a bit and since I am the go-to person for pretty much everything in the house and pertaining to Reza, this would not be good. Josh can’t take time off unless it was really dire circumstances. Anyway, I have been going to physical therapy, acupuncture, laying low… I had a follow up and it looks like it is on the upswing. The doc was pleased with my progress so I am doing something right. It could be one thing or a combination of things but the change in weather happended to coincide and I am so glad it is relieving itself a little. I will take what I can get. Hopefully it will get better cause I don’t want to cut into that business.

Dude, I have been going to a Community Acupuncture in Philly and I LOVE IT. I go, take some soothing music, get poked and promptly pass the F out along with everyone else. I don’t know how much of it has helped but the feeling after a treatment is invigorating and much better for me than taking a bunch of shit and getting cortisone shots. I am trying to avoid those like the plague.

Josh
Man, I cannot even begin to explain the OBSCENE amount of hours he has been working. Obscene. So far there have been 12 days straight without a day off, conference calls past midnight, 12+ hour shifts, an endless email queue, he is spending the night there a couple nights in the weeks to come as well. No point in coming home. He is exhausted but even then somehow he wakes up every day and pushes through. We fully expected his schedule to blow up like this and yes, I am sad he isn’t around as much but I know the investment is worth the payoff.

Revel opens on the 2nd of April/ grand opening Memorial Day weekend and the feedback, anticipation and excitement up to it has been nothing but positive, well, other than the haters complaining rooms are too expensive and the one a many cancer stick addicts protesting that the resort is SMOKE FREE. F you apestosos! Take your stank elsewhere.

So yeah, this is why we moved and if you have a chance to see the site you will see why we didn’t hesitate. This place is big time. I am so glad Josh works for a state of the art resort, that values his work ethic and opinion and is doing it, doing it, doing it well. Grade A across the board with everything they are doing. See for yourself. (F YOU SYCUAN – laying Josh off was the best thing you could ever have done for him! Amateurs. *insert pissing Calvin*)

I got to say this though. I know I say it a lot but I am soooo glad I am with someone like him. He is a fantastic man and everything he does for us is appreciated beyond measure. love, love, love my husband with everything in me.

Reza
Growing like a damn weed. Literally. She is a tap under 3’9″, about 50-52 lbs. Opinionated, enjoys conversation and asking questions about everything. Becoming a finicky eater but I am hopeful this is just a phase. I have been taking her out on her bike more. She’s quite afraid of it and falls a lot but she will eventually man up and take the wheels off. I am gonna get a bike so we can go riding together and I also ordered us hoops. I am uncoordinated as all hell with it and she is too but we will get the hang of it with practice I am sure. If not at least we are having fun with trying.

I am looking into extra-curricular activities for her and I found a hooping class and yoga for kids. I also found a circus school! Sadly it is over an hour away but still, I am all about her getting her exercise in the fun way. I enrolled in a gym that has family pool days so I can take her to swim on the weekends. Gotta get active yo!

We decided to enroll her in the public kindergarten up the street. Yes, it is only 2.5 hours a day but I am gonna work her at home. She already reads and I expect her to be better come end of Summer.

Overall she is doing great and her behavior hasn’t been so testy. Until I tell her clean her room that is.

The Critters

Gomez + Judas are growing far too fast for their own good as well. I caught Gomez humping his sister a couple weeks ago so off her went to get neutered. He did really well and was back to his usual self the minute I picked him up. Judas will soon follow, just waiting for her to get a little fatter… she was the runt so she is dainty. I dig the cats even though they are in the “get into everything” phase. At night I have to lock them out of my bedroom cause they wake me up, purring up a storm in my face and this lady needs her beauty rest.

They get along with Nena as much as cats and a senile dog will get along anyway. Nena is getting old and who knows how much longer she will be around.

Me
I have spent the past 2 weeks cleaning all the crap out of my diet. All the inflammatory foods are gone for the time being. Not only do I feel infinitely better, I dropped some weight. Lots more to go mind you but every time I go back to unhealthy ways I realize how some stuff just doesn’t agree with me anymore. I wake up every morning, have some green tea, make my smoothie… I feel like I am doing a better job at taking care of myself. Paired with visits to the gym, it will only be a matter of time that I get myself together. Working on it anyway. Now, if my creative juices will return I would be a lot happier but look, I can only handle so much and I am not interested in being a multitasking juggler of massive proportions. I have a laundry list of pending projects, requests and honestly I cannot bring myself to get to them just yet. I would be half-assing it and I can’t do that to myself or to you. I am hoping the sleeping giant wakes up soon, it needs to cause there are things I really want to do and want to be a part of.

Let us see, what else?

I darkened my hair to this saucy purple color that does not photograph very easily. I love it.

I got some pretty exciting news from a couple friends but it’s not my news to share. But Me = happy

My sister and her boys are coming from Japan for most of the month of August. I CANNOT WAIT. My parents may make the trek up here as well. It will be a house full of Garcias.

So yeah, long story long, things around here are chaotic but calm. Everything is warming up, quite literally. Things are looking up for us on many fronts. I am sure many people wonder about us and if we made a mistake coming here… and let set the record straight. Yes, we miss our people and good Mexican food but other than that, this was one of the best things we have ever done for ourselves. No regrets here.

So enough about me… how are YOU? Really. Spill it all.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~24 snitches : confess

There is a post being drafted in my head and I am not ready to really put it here. Nothing bad, in fact, things here are good. I am just really working on me, my family and watching the world come back to life now that Winter is coming to a close. With Spring comes new life and a sense of renewal, more so than New Years Day.

I never really understood the fascination with seasons until you actually get to experiencing them for the first time. One thing I will say, Southern CA can have its year round “perfect” weather. I get it now.

*****

P.S. I miss you Spencer, Tania, Tom and j+e. So very much

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~5 snitches : confess

1. My favorite room in my home is a very close tie between the kitchen and the attic studio/guest room. I think the attic wins.

2. My current decor style is different for every room. I like clean lines, statement pieces. I have no desire to make my place look sterile and over decorated.

3. I wish I could redecorate our bedroom. It’s the one room that has had no love since we moved in. Spring/Summer project for sure cause it needs a paint job like whoa.

4. My dream house absolutely has to have a Japanese style bathroom. If not we will gut it and make one.

5. One house item I am willing to splurge on is a bed. We spend enough time in it, that mattress better be awesome.

6. A decor trend that I just don’t “get” is Santa Fe shit. I can’t stand it.

7. Photos on the walls and fridge are/is a little touch that makes my house feel like home

******

And yes, I realize that this post is lame and I should really write a real update. I’ll get there Spencer.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~6 snitches : confess

Since we moved here there is this establishment that has this hearse parked outside. I drive by quite a bit and today I finally stopped to get a closer look at her in her decaying glory. With what little juice was left on my phone I got photos of her to share with you.

A 1950′s (exact year uncertain) Cadillac hearse. DROOOOOOOOL.

I ogled at it and dreamt of the day I could either own one or have enough bank to fully restore something like this. Dad, why didn’t you pass on your mad car repair skills onto me? I would love to get under the hood of something like this and bring her back to life. What a rewarding trade, yeah?

I ended up going into the place which was a head shop/music memorabilia store and apparently one of the guys that works there owns it and another hearse parked next to it. I hope he does it justice.

(Note to self: take photos with the better camera)

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~3 snitches : confess

Dear Nugget,

I am not sure how this happens but time flies by so much faster when I am watching someone grow up. Better yet, watching you grow up. It’s an interesting state I find myself in cause as proud I am of your newfound independence, there is also that moment where I catch myself looking at you and my heart is breaking inside cause you are no longer a helpless little person. You are a full blown kid.

In the past month you not only figured out how to tie your own shoes but you started reading. Words! Books even! And yes, those books are simple but still, you aren’t even in kindergarten yet and here you are pointing words out to us. I thought I beamed with pride when you took your first steps, but this? Your sitting there with a book and reading it to me? Isn’t that my job? You have your voice, opinions, commentary and always have something funny to say. You make me so damn proud of the person you are growing into every day.

You love to brush my hair, you tell me you like my hair color, the way I do my nails, that I am the best Mom ever and that I am beautiful. You are seriously one of the most expressive children I have ever known, but then again, I haven’t known too many.

This morning you walked past me and hugged me. I felt the top of your head on the bottom of breasts. Yes, your Mom is a shorty but dude, you need to cut this out. Slow down just a little bit cause my one and only is crossing things by leaps and bounds and I dunno if I am ready. It’s not like I have a choice, you can’t keep that freight train from passing by so quickly but throw your Mom a bone yeah? I don’t want to be the smallest person in the house anytime soon.

We were walking around town this afternoon and you kept saying “I love you” over and over. You caught yourself and said you probably say it too much. I doubt I would ever tire of it Special Sauce, there will come a day where that may taper off. I hope it doesn’t cause if you only knew the twinkle it brings to my eyes, you would know how happy it makes me.

So two things… one: I love you so damn much. two: keep being this awesome… cause seriously, I see the powerhouse of a lady you are turning into and I can only imagine how amazing you are going to be years from now. More than you already are.

It’s a pretty awesome feeling to have two of the best things that ever happened to me under the same roof. Thanks for being one of them.

Love,

Mom

*******

And for my own reference right now you love: corn bread, the word “science”, hanging out with Gomez, adventures in Philadelphia, doing shadow puppets before bed time, picking out your own outfits, gemstones, Monster High and as always, vampires.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~11 snitches : confess

Every Valentines Day I have notoriously written sappy ass posts about my husband to which many people either gushed or threw up a little in their mouths. Sorry yo! I can’t help it. So instead of making y’all sick with my wussery, I will instead tell you about things I have been loving on…

Shopping with my iPod in tow. Yes, I probably look silly mouthing words and doing some ass wiggling in the bread section but look, the mundane can be extraordinary when you have a club in your ear. Music, I would be nothing without you.

I am addicted to the antique stores. I never cared as much cause the stores in Cali were picked over and the selection was just not as cool. Now, don’t think I am on a spending spree, I go in search for very specific things and most of the time I don’t find what I have an eye out for.

The other day I found myself driving to BFE Jersey… No joke! it was total farmland but I heard this was THE place to hit and holy hell were they right. Grist Mill Antiques was a house that is top to bottom crammed with loot. Two floors and every single inch of this joint is sections of stuff. Get a load of this business:

This is NOTHING. It’s just one of those things that you just have to be there to grasp the magnitude of awesome. I didn’t get much, I did however score a friend a complete set of turquoise Amish print pyrex, for $30! What did I score up on?

Skeleton keys. I have been picking these up when I find the ones with interesting finishes or shapes. The collection is growing and I will eventually be putting them in a shadow box or?? Who knows. I found a shop that had the smaller “kid keys” @ 3 for 50 cents. YEAH.

Other items I have an eye out for are vintage halloween, religious, medical, apothecary, things with devils and Freemason loot… I managed to find these two Eastern Star plates ($3.50 total! DEAL) and a couple jars that weren’t an arm and a leg. Vintage apothecary can get expensive yo!

Other things I love… well, LOVE. I thank every day that I am not jaded about the idea of love and am just as open to give it as it is to receive. I went through my instagram feed this morning and realized I tend to have a reoccurring theme amongst my photos. I guess I am a romantic at heart and I am ok with my cover being totally blown.

And speaking of LOVE, the new LOVE stamps from the USPS are money! Not as cool as those king + queen ones from a few years ago but still. I just stocked up cause I have been a snail mail machine as of late. No amount of instant gratification from email and texts will ever replace the gesture of getting something in the mail.

Other items that have been on my affection receiving end…

The Q&A journal. Every day is a question and you fill it out for 5 years. ($10-15 depending where you get it)

Baby Lips by Maybelline. I have the cherry and peppermint, they’re awesome and cheap! Available at all drug stores. Do not pay more than $4 for these. Mine were in the $3 range. (thanks for the tip @ Tara from Leviticus Jewelry <--- check her out /shameless)

Matte About You polish by Essie. This turns any gloss polish into a matte. It pretty much rules. ($10 or so - anywhere Essie is sold, I scored mine at ULTA and Bed Bath and Beyond)

And then there is that evil chocolate bar stuffed with cookie butter from Trader Joes. I stand by my theory that Trader Joes is ran by Satan himself. This is just another tasty goodie they totally nailed it on.

And even more loves!
Philly
"we are young" by Fun.
the fact Gomez purrs every time I touch him
Spotify
guilty pleasures
stompy boots that say "I don't care what you think about me" every time I put them on
The Big Pink (that is not a euphemism for vagina, at least not in this post anyway)
body piercings! I just recently got some redone that I took out for childbirth... delicious rush. Must get more
getting to see and catch up with old friends
visitors! 6 months and I have seen several pieces from home which is so damned awesome
The fact that Winter is coming closer to an end

Ok, did you seriously think I was going to write a post about love and not include the ones I love the most? Uh yeah. I know this is an old photo but damn do I love it. Josh and Reza, without you I am only a shell of a woman. I love you more than life itself.

viva el amor! what do YOU love?

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~2 snitches : confess

I finally got around to putting my list in writing. I am sure there are things that are missing or will come up over the course of time. I put the list as a separate page on my blog so I can always come back to that tab instead of having to backtrack.

If you care to read the list you can do so here

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~1 snitches : confess

(the collage from my livejournal page that has been my first blog since 2001, posts from here still go there)

1. I started my blog because I have always been an opinionated person. I needed an outlet to put things out there and I happened to stumble on livejournal and the rest is history. To be honest I didn’t think anyone would really read my stuff but I picked up (and kept) quite a few friends from the mix.

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs attractive visuals, good writing, posts of complete and total honesty… the good, the bad, the heartbreaking. There is a lot to be said about being able to drop the guard and show vulnerability.

3. Something I love about blogging is that it has really opened the doors to getting to know some pretty amazing people. Without my blog/e-presence I probably would have never met or known some of the awesome people that I know all over the world.

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably when I finally mustered up the courage to post a photo of my post baby tummy. It was so liberating to get that off my back and the response it mustered on and offline was not what I expected. Again, the whole vulnerability thing… I showed a side of me that people had never seen and it turn it was met with positivity. If you are curious you can read it here.

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I’ve never before mentioned on my blog is anything that goes on behind the scenes between Josh and I. Josh and I have a very harmonious home life, we communicate extremely well, we are very much in love and functional. Despite these things there are moments where we find ourselves out of sync, miscommunicate and have very rare spats. I don’t believe in airing out dirty laundry on the web for a number of reasons, not because I am trying to paint this picture perfect scenario of my marriage, more because I have the deepest amount of respect for Josh and what we have… and if we have beef of any kind I am not putting it out there to be the fodder of others. But, I talk to my friends about things cause an outside perspective can always help you view things from a different angle.

6. My new favorite blogs to read are not so new: Spencer (when he posts), Josh (who has cobwebs on his), The Crave List by my girl Dinah, Alice, Haute Macabre, Coilhouse, Papercrave and The Black Apple.

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are graphic details about my sex life, money, politics, religion and some topics pertaining to Josh (see #5^)

*****
in case you want to play along

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~confess

As with many things I see on Pinterest, I finally got around to making another pin I saved for corndog muffins. Reza loves her cornbread and since this was simple to make, we got in the kitchen and hooked it up.

Mix your bread whatnot as usual and put in the muffin tin. We cut up the hot dog in little circles and each muffin got 4-5 slices of pushed into them. (see what I did there?) I also got the idea to sprinkle some cheese on the top of a few just to see how they would come out.

(will you look at this kid? freshly baked muffin, iPad and sleepy kitties on the couch. does it get better than that?)

Dude! These are good! And dare I say the ones with the cheese are better. I didn’t serve them with ketchup & mustard though, wasn’t feeling it. The kid loved them. The only thing I would probably do different is maybe up the hot dog slices by 1-2 and maybe put small cubes of cheddar up in that piece. Overall these are a hit! Just make sure you serve warm, they’re better that way.

I used:
Cornbread mix from Trader Joes, Hebrew National hot dogs (the only ones I will ever use), Mexican blend cheese from Trader Joes.

The pin doesn’t track back to the original post for some reason so whoever had this idea, well played! I take no credit for this awesome “why didn’t I think of that” idea.

Originally published at beans + ink. You can comment here or there.

~4 snitches : confess